Did you notice that February is perfectly aligned? It is an OCD person’s dream month. See…
Normally months don’t line up so neatly. The road to marriage is normally seen as perfectly aligned as well. Meet person + date person + engagement + wedding = marriage. Yet, that is rarely the case much like months rarely line up so precisely. Many people do not think about marriage as combining two lives, two calendars if you will. Sure when you get married, you have to make room in your closet, but what about your calendar?
Before marriage, you had a job or classes, maybe both, outings with friends, family obligations, and more. You didn’t have to worry about a another person, maybe just to feed the cat (or in my case, cats). When you get married, you now have to sync your calendars together. Does your spouse have a dinner meeting? Or a hockey game? Did you say “Yes” to hanging out with friends when your spouse wanted you to go to the movies? Marriage changes your whole social and work calendar.
To help keep our lives organized, we use the Google calender that comes with our G-mail accounts. We have synced our calendars so my events are red and Trae’s events are blue. It really helps because Trae plays hockey and I tend to be in plays. We also have dates scheduled. We also put when we have plans with friends on the calendar. This way I won’t plan something if Trae is going to watch sports with the guys or if I am going to have dinner with a coworker. If we don’t keep the schedule updated, we tend to overbook ourselves. The best part about using this calendar is that it sends reminders to our smart phones. So if I am at play rehearsal, the calender will send a reminder to Trae and me. Trae says he feels less stressed now that he can keep up with both of our schedules and less stress makes a happier mate.
We also keep a calendar on the refrigerator; we keep all tickets and invitations next to that calendar so we also have an everyday visual reminder of our schedule. It really help us to have a visual of our schedule. If I can see a wedding invitation or theater tickets every morning when I get milk to put in my coffee, I am less likely to forget the event.
Syncing up calendars might not seem like it would make a huge change to your marriage, but it really does help. Trae says he feels less stressed with the calender because I tend to be the busier of the two; he likes that he can schedule dates or plan to make dinner knowing I am free. He likes knowing that if I am not home he can double check the calender before he worries. (Oh yeah, she had play rehearsal tonight right after work!) The calendar is really an extension of our communication and good communication is the foundation to a strong marriage. Overall, marriage is messy and doesn’t always line up. Anything a couple can do to help line things up and make life a little neater is a step to making your life a February.