January first is always the time to make resolutions. By the time December ends, couples are tired and exhausted. There have been holiday celebrations back to back full of family, conversation, and food. It is very easy to get lost in all the going-ons and family drama. Honestly for the first day that we didn’t have family around, Trae and I spent all day in opposite rooms. (We are fine, but sometimes it is nice to decompress! He worked on his computer doing tech stuff, and I worked on writing blog posts.) Since the holidays are so family centered, which is nice but also tiring, I have always thought of New Year’s Eve as a renewal time for couples.
A good way to revamp and renew a marriage is to make resolutions that will enhance and help your marriage. To get the New Year off to a great start, Trae and I wrote down some resolutions for our marriage. We figured that if we made just a few resolutions we would be more likely to follow through on them, so we focused on making resolutions that we knew would improve our happiness in our marriage.
Marriage Resolutions from Carrie:
- Put down the phone/laptop and actually talk at least an hour a day.
I have a bad habit now of playing on my phone looking at cats on Instagram and reading tweets about Clemson football. I always use the excuse “This is for the blog! I have to keep up with social media,” but instead I want to spend time talking with Trae. Maybe if I do that I will finally learn the rules of hockey! (Trae is mystified about how I know all the rules for football yet hockey confuses me!)
- Lay down and read together in bed again.
We have our TV shows, but we tend to not really talk or cuddle during the commercials. I think that comes from the fact we talk all day in our jobs and are just talked out when we get home. I remember when we first got married, we used to lay down together and read together. We would read interesting facts and funny antidotes aloud. I always felt closer to Trae on those nights and also found that I slept better when I didn’t spend those last waking moments on a computer.
Marriage Resolutions from Trae:
- Spend more quality time together.
I read on Marriage Builders that couples should spend 15 hours together per week. I know Carrie and I have different school schedules as well as night schedules (hockey for me and metalworking jewelry class for her). These different schedules really hurt our communication. Carrie’s level of intimacy and feelings of closeness are tied to communication. When we don’t spend time together, she doesn’t feel close to me. I want to work at bringing that closeness back.
- Be more romantic.
I am not romantic. It doesn’t come naturally for me and that does bring Carrie down sometimes. I know being more romantic will push me out of my comfort zone, but sometimes in marriage, you have to get out of your comfort zone. I always have a good time when Carrie plans romantic outings, so this year I am going to work on planing outings for her.
- Walk or ride our bikes more.
Carrie: When I got off my birth control, my body changed and I wasn’t pleased with it. To help me feel better, Trae suggested we ride bikes and walk more. He was right; I did feel better. Yet we fell off the wagon after a week of rain, so we both want to get back to being active.
Trae: I agree with Carrie. I felt our moods improved when we were active. Also, we managed to have great talks when we were doing these activities.
- Work at cooking together more often.
Trae: Lately with my school schedule I was doing all the coking. Then we got busy with our respective hobbies and starting doing grab whatever you could. For health reasons and to bring us closer, I want to start cooking together again.
Carrie: I remember when we used to cook a lot together. I know as schedules change each school semester we have to adjust, but Trae is right: we stopped cooking together. I remember how close we used to feel and how fun it is. We would pick a new recipe, go to the store, and sing together as we cooked.
- Try a new things.
Carrie: I love exploring the area we live in. We went to the out the Outer Banks this summer, and it was great. I want to do more of that! I love sharing the newness with Trae. I am already looking forward to going back to the Outer Banks and seeing the parts we missed.
Trae: When we go out and try new things, Carrie feels closer to me. When we lived in the mountains, I didn’t go out exploring a lot and that is something that I regret, so I have been trying to make a habit of going on adventures with my wife in this area.
We haven’t been on an extended vacation in two years. We do a few weekend trips during the year, but this year we will go somewhere! Now to decided where…
Carrie: Baltimore! Visit Charm City Cakes!
Trae: Vegas! Who doesn’t want to renew their vows with Elvis?