Picking out the perfect wedding planner is daunting. Some are hefty three-ring binders while some are smaller, almost pocket sized. For my wedding, I went with a soft back planner complete with comparison charts for florists, bakers, venues, etc. Everything was perfectly planned out within the confines of my planner.
By the time my wedding day arrived, the plastic spine was broken and the brochure holding pockets had ripped from being stuffed full. On my wedding day, I woke up with a migraine, my hair dresser was late, and my wedding dress broke just minutes before walking down the aisle. Even with all those mishaps, which by the way wasn’t covered in my planner, I had an absolutely great day.
The next morning, I woke up beside my brand new husband. And I realized that the planner couldn’t help me anymore. Sure there was a chapter on writing thank you notes, but not on how to successfully live with another human being. Slight panic set in when I realized that my worn out planner was just that…worn out.
I am so glad that Trae and I had done premarital counseling. In premarital counseling, we had a safe place to discuss concerns like finances or in-law issues. Even though we had a workbook to go along with our counseling, we still didn’t have a planner for marriage. We didn’t have flow charts to help us decide where to spend the holidays or to plan the months we would get sick. Instead we had to figure a lot of stuff out through trial and error. (The first time we went to pay bills together was epic…in the battle sense.)
Without premarital counseling, marriage would have been a lot harder. Premarital counseling forced us to stop thinking about flowers and china patterns and to think about the meaning of “till death do us part.” We went into marriage understanding that a wedding is one day: one great day to celebrate the newly minted family But we also realized that after the wedding we would have trials, but it was how we worked together that would make those trials either speed bumps or major hurdles. Honestly, understanding the gravity of our vows made our wedding even more enjoyable. We knew that when we said “I Do” that we didn’t have all the answers, but we knew that we would “do” everything together and that would make one great marriage.