Thanks to Facebook, I was reminded today that six years ago I posted my engagement pictures. Since my engagement pictures were taken, I have gotten married, lived in a crappy apartment, moved to North Carolina, lived the world’s best apartment, moved again, and bought a house. Oh yeah, and dragged three cats with me during those six years.
Over those six years, Trae and I have grown as a couple. Moving is one of those events that tore us apart and brought us together. When we moved in together after getting married, I was already living in the apartment that was to be our first newlywed home. Before getting married, Trae had never really moved before. He had lived on his own, but it was at a house that was owned by his grandmother and so he really didn’t “move.” Majority of his things were still at his parents home. I remember during the first year of our marriage he would text me saying “I am going to the lake house to get some stuff” and then would come back with a garbage bag of clothes and stuff. One garbage bag at a time, Trae sort of moved into our apartment. Obviously the fact Trae didn’t truly move into our newlywed apartment drove me up a wall and caused a lot of fights.
When we moved into our next apartment and out of the state, Trae had no choice but to get all his stuff. We would no longer be a short car ride away from his things. Moving into that apartment made us face a lot of typical newlywed hurdles about a year after saying “I Do.” We had to figure out how to really combine stuff, how to decorate, and how to clean together. That move ended up being one of the most trying years of our marriage. Here we were in the most amazing apartment and yet we were constantly fighting about stupid stuff. We had yet to establish a pattern of communication because when we lived in South Carolina we were still living separate lives. Sure we might have been a Mr. and a Mrs., but we were living more as roommates instead of spouses.
Fast forward to when we bought our first home. Prior to buying our house, we had to live in a hotel together for two months. The move to our current location was last minute. Trae accepted his current job when I was in Vietnam with a friend and I didn’t find out that we had three days to move until I was on my way back to the United States. I landed, quit my job, and moved six hours away from my family all in three days. Yep, that was exciting. And yet, oddly okay. There weren’t really any fights with this move. Even when the closing on our house was delayed for over two weeks, we didn’t fight. Buying our house was like a sign of our strengthened communication skills and marriage.
With each move, we acquired more square footage (except for those two months in a hotel) and each square foot represents the years and moments we have made in our marriage. It has taken a long time to get a solid foundation for our marriage, but now that we have one we can add onto our marriage and build onto it until we have a mansion of memories and adventures. Will we still have fights? Sure, but when we do, we will store the memory of those fights in the attic. We can’t forget about them because have learned from them, but we will grow and now dwell on those moments. Instead we will focus on the good times and continue to build on the house of our marriage.
P.S. Trae, if you are reading this, thank you for taking engagement photos six years ago with me and thank you for all the memories we have made and will make together. And maybe it is time to change your Facebook profile picture since it is officially six years old today! I love you!